In my gusto to fill my gastro, I have, at times, shown less 'culture' than what was required for a business lunch.

Enter the new Marty. the new marty attempts to follow some simple rules that are guaranteed to keep him - and you- out of trouble during a business lunch. Those secret rules? Here they are:

• Before lunch, drink a glass of juice or non-fat milk to curb your appetite and stabilize your blood sugar. This really helps keep you from bolting your food or appearing nervous. Water works well, too.
• At lunch, glance at the menu and decide what you want to order quickly, or at least by the time every one else decides. Don't ask the waiter to explain everything on the menu, or the other ravenous people will be upset.
• don't order anthing that's messy or difficult to eat. Avoid pasta with sauces that splash and food that you have to eat with your fingers, such as big sandwiches and hamburgers. Forget this rule if you're eating at the Old World Deli, Local Boyz or Togo's.
• Place your napkin on your lap after everyone is seated. If you need to leave the table temporarily, place your napkin on your seat. When you're finished eating, place your napkin to the left of your plate.
• Put your silverware down when you speak, and don't talke with your mouth full.
• don't lick your utensils or fingers, use your finger as a scoop or clear crumbs off the table.
• Don't ask for anyone's left-overs.
• The safest bet is to abstain from alcohol. if you choose to drink, limit yourself to one.
• Don't argue over the check or offer to pay the tip. The host (the one who did the inviting) must take care of both.

Updated: Sunday, March 30, 2008.